Family Drama

Jul. 23rd, 2017 02:29 pm
aximili: (DP: You and I (Sam to Danny))
[personal profile] aximili
Kevin, "Can you take me to Target?"
Me, "Okay, let's go now so I can sleep before my night shift."
Me, "Hey can you hide your [pot]? It's poisonous to cats."
Kevin, "No it's not."
Me, "Yes it is, you can look it up online."
Kevin, "Never mind, I don't even wanna go to CostCo and Target. I don't want to deal with the stress. I don't need this third degree."
Me, "I wasn't giving you the third degree, I was asking you to keep the pot--"
Kevin, "NEVER MIND."



Thirty Minutes Later After I've Come Home




Kevin, "Mind taking me to the gas station?"
Me, "You asked me to take you to Target. I agreed, and you changed your mind. I'm sorry you're stressed out, but I'm home now and planning to sleep before work."

And... Now he's screaming at everyone and throwing stuff. But maybe he'll realize this constant yanking on my chain is inappropriate. I'm not sure how much this works when the drug/alcohol abuser you're dealing with someone who ALSO has a personality and mood disorder.

He doesn't get it. We don't want him gone. We want him to get help. But letting his mood swings dictate all our decisions is not a solution.

In the 'getting out of this living situation' - since paying half the rent didn't work in giving me a better say in my living situation and Dad still forced us to let Kevin move back in - I'm thinking I could try moving to Anaheim? There's an ROP nursing program there, I wouldn't have to quit any job, and it's a good halfway point to Long Beach, too, which is where the CNA courses are hosted.

Room-searching scares me though. Lots of creepy advertisements. Then again, it can't be that much worse than living with my brother. Except the ads looking to rent a room 'for free' in exchange for being an 'FWB.'

Like... I know most men are not disgusting, most people are generally good (or at least well-intentioned), etc.

But there are some doozies when you're looking at ads searching for roommates.

Thoughts

Jul. 23rd, 2017 01:14 am
aximili: (TPATF: Ambitious)
[personal profile] aximili
So I was looking at bungee jumping tomorrow, or paragliding, but then I decided I didn't want to do things that would take hours of my day and make me tired for work that night.

Which is too bad, because it was so tempting.

Instead I'm going to try to go rock climbing tomorrow, and study up the certifications I'm 'ReActivating.'

I'd like to work on backpacking too. I was thinking I could start getting the gear, going to one of the local campsites on the weekend, and practice basics. Then I could do trips when I feel comfortable with the gear and believe I can make it a few days without running back to town.

Skydive SCUBA dive

Jul. 21st, 2017 04:35 pm
aximili: (Default)
[personal profile] aximili
I am literally taking the SCUBA refresher WHILE waiting to be suited up to skydive. #multitasking

Skydiving!!!

Jul. 20th, 2017 04:49 pm
aximili: (Avatar TLA: Toph Escatic)
[personal profile] aximili
I booked a skydiving trip for tomorrow!!

I'd been waiting to go in Monterey (world's highest tandem dive) but I'll try later in the year.

I'm also thinking about surfing lessons. I'd been wanting to a while. But I have two days off this week.

Then I'm also trying to figure out where I want to take photos this weekend.

Post-trip

Jul. 19th, 2017 12:51 am
serpentine: (Default)
[personal profile] serpentine
I have survived my trip to Upstate New York and visiting family up there. I somehow slept a lot and ended up not socializing as much with family as I could've. If I wasn't so tired, I would've gone to dinner last night for example, but I just was too cranky to people properly.

I'm really glad that the wedding was cancelled tbh bcause I'm not sure if I could've done it without spending too much of my social bandwidth (which is a term I've seen around?? But I remember using it before everyone else back in college. Did others come up with it separately or did I legit coin a phrase?? Either is possible.) Anyways, I didn't get as much reading as I would've liked done, but I did get a lot of work on my Tomarry Big Bang done so that's one thing.

The other thing that was neglected was working on my cross-stitch project, but that's okay. I just didn't feel like working on it much and that's okay.

I also did some fun things. That was good. I need to go to bed now or I'd go on in more detail.

On Memo and Guillermo del Toro

Jul. 16th, 2017 10:01 am
aximili: (Candy: Cadbury Mini Eggs)
[personal profile] aximili
So because of the Memory Lane trip Guillermo del Toro sent me on, I tried to look up Memo and see if he ended up marrying Andrea, or if they got engaged.

(Memo was always on a deadline to get married by the time he was twenty-eight, so I wanted to see if he was 'on schedule.')

I didn't see anything definitive. I hope they did, but on the other hand, I have a feeling if he got married he would blast wedding photos all over his FaceBook page and it would be in his status and in fact I probably would have somehow heard it even though there's literally no one we have mutual contact with anymore.

I might have to message him about this Guillermo del Toro thing. I don't think that would offend his sensibilities, lol. It's been a long time, but we never technically ended on bad terms. I just was honest and said hey, I don't think I can be friends with you right now.

The Strain - Guillemero Del Toro

Jul. 14th, 2017 10:02 pm
aximili: (Cats: Jack Yawn)
[personal profile] aximili
My brother introduced me to The Strain, an FX show. I'm going to avoid binge-watching it. But what I found interesting about it is that it's actually a show we both love, which is an unusual phenomenon. It was created by Guillermo del Toro, which is probably why.

Guillermo del Toro really makes me think of Memo. I think that was one of his biggest role models. But I like it regardless. Just, it has that little extra bit.

Last week I finally bought eczema lotion for my hands. They're not fully back to normal, but they're distinctively less lizard-looking. I have to be really on top of it though. This weather really brings it out.

Tomorrow I'm going to try an Al-Anon group. I'm not really sure what will become of it. I mean, yes, I live with an alcoholic, drug addicted person with a mood and personality disorder (who is in a mutually codependent relationship with another drug addict.)

I live with a person trying to protect, control, and change said person who has become codependent (if he wasn't already. I think he's been that way for as long as I can remember.)

And I've realized this is messing me up.

I know I need to get out, but it's not as easy as 1-2-3. There's the lease (through March). That's my deadline for getting some entry vocational skills and unloading any previous debt. I don't need to be making enough money to live 100% on my own without roommates next year. I just need to be on a career track.

[...]

“I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.”
(Dorothy Parker)

February 2011

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